Equality

First of all, I have to state that i am not a feminist. In fact, I have to admit that I am the kind of gal who prefer to feel protected by my boyfriend.

The topic of today is about girls breaking up with their bf for the reason "I realize that I dun actually like him."

Not to state names or anything, but I realize a number of female friends, collegues, or stories that i heard from other friends about females breaking up with their boyfriends after realizing that they dun really like the guy.

I happened to ask one of the gal, who just break with her bf recently for this reason, before she formally started with her ex boyfriend whether she likes him. Her answer was "as long as the guy treats me well enough, I will accept him."

This gal is pretty, very eloquent, very smart and very independent and has no lack of suitors.
But that was what she said.

Another fren asked me "why can't gals go after the guy they like, but have to stand there and wait for the guy to come and date me?"

Seriously I also dunno.

Haha... mebe social expectations ba.

I think compared to our grandmas and mums who simply like the guys who went after them, there are some gals in our generation who are not that easily satisfied.

But yet the social expectations is such that, they cannot go after those guys who they are interested in.

Hmmm...... mebe that is why these gals ended up with guys that they do not like and break with them.

Why do gals feel that they cannot make the first move?
I did a survey (with less than five ladies) and they say that if they make the first move, the guy will not treasure them.

So they rather lose the guy they have good feelings for, and end up with a guy fanatically going after them but whom they have little feelings for.

I later asked a guy (beware sample size for this is one.) whether if the lady makes the first move, they will treasure the gal less.
He said "actually everything is mutual. if i have to try very hard to get the gal, i might feel that she dun really like me and hence insecure. or if the gal makes the first move and i accept too quickly, i may also be afraid that she might think that i am too easy to get. "

Seriously I have no advice to give on relationship. I just know that I will not start with a guy i do not like cos i will feel very guilty. I believe in short pain as compared to long pain.

Let's end with another anedote.

I asked a gal how long her bf took to get her to accept him.
She said "oh... very fast."
I said "why"
She replied with a smile "cos i like him too."

Mebe this is the ideal case.

Actually in the long run, who ask who may not be so important, what matters is whether the feeling is mutual to start with.