End of April updates

Finally, next week will be the last week of the spring semester and after that there will be two weeks of study break and then one weeks of exams. I have 3 exams to take and they are on the 9th of May, 23rd and 25th of May. How I wish the exams can end earlier. Haha.. so that my suffering can end earlier too.

My resolution for this semester is that I will learn a lot from the courseswork this sem. (after a unfulfilling feeling with coursework from last semester. Hmm.. I guess I feel a little bit more fulfilled this semester since I like the Introduction to Stochastic process class. The professor, Samuel, is very good. He teaches very well and I like his voice. Other than the clear teaching, I also like his enthusiasm for what he is teaching. I especially like his brief introductory stories about famous statisticians and scientists. He was talking about Black and Scholes on Wednesday. He told us about how the two guys, one working in the finance sector and one an assistant prof came together to derive the most important equation used for option pricing and how their paper basically revolutionize the view on stocks prices as being brownian motion. I may be imagining. But that lecture, I really though I saw a sparkle in his eyes. I like these stories as they serve to remind me that despite all the sound and fury that surrounds the debate our the worth of research, what it boils down to, for me, is really that kind of passion, idealism and pureness.

My other class in Chemistry is quite a let down actually. I guess the main thing that I learn from this class is that self learning is important. The professor is unable to explain stuff and talks too much random stuff and too little important stuff. Also I feel that there is a lot of frustration for the class and it is being reflected in lecture too. Hmm.. but I think I have to give him credit for covering some of the material that he did. I have always heard about the "arrow of time" but I never knew what it was. I know that it is relating to the fact that entropy always increases. But his explanation of Boltzmann's H theorm really clear everything. I was very confused after class one day and I asked him about the derivation. After finally understanding the derivation, I said "Isn't it an irony, that he is using the property of molecular reversibility hence the reversibility of collisions to prove the irreversibly of time?" And my TA kindly added "Yes. Exactly, this is the beauty of the derivation." Hmmm... indeed indeed. Using reversibility to prove irreversibility. How smart Boltzmann is! What a pity that Boltzmann commit suicide, before people can recognise his achievements and his revolutionary science. Reminds me of Van Gogh too. The similar loneliness and lack of understanding they must have feel. Luckily, Mendel was happy enough counting and growing peas and did not end up in the same path.

I guess I only have one achievement for this month of April. I managed to attend all the four Buddhist meetings for this month. Kind of record breaking for me, considering that my average attendance is 50%. Hmm.. I guess the greatest reward is that I talked to Nathan about Mentor and disciple relationship on 12th of April. Although I cannot remember what he said that day, I remembered that I was feeling very touched by the time I had to part with him at the subway station. He always have the ability to touch people's heart. I remembered he said that "A mentor is not someone who is more senior. He is somone who is fighting alongside you, trying to achieve the same dreams." He also said that although he may not meet president Ikeda ever again, he knows that their hearts will always be join.

I guess this is the part that touches me most. People meet and part. Sometimes never to see each other again. I think to protect myself from the pain of loss after friends leave (especially since many of my friends are from other countries), I often put an expiry date on each friendship. A date which I think a friendship should be able to reach. If it can extend beyond that, it is a big blessing. If it cannot, it is okie since it is beyond the expiry date. But what Nathan is telling me is that even though he will never see president ikeda again, nothing changes. The idea of forever blew me away. Forever... .... something that lasts forever.

Hmm.. I was thinking that my month in April seems to be in vain as nothing much got done. But now as I finished writing my blog. I think it has not been such in vain after all.